Power the Dark Lord knows not
by Possum132
Summary: Harry Potter and Severus Snape confront each other in the kitchen at 12 Grimmauld Place, Mad Eye Moody plays chaperone. Follow up to Well done, Draco, well done.
1. Chapter 1: Harry Potter

**Power the Dark Lord knows not**

**Chapter 1: Harry Potter  
**

_This can be read as a stand-alone fic, but if you read the prequels "Thank god Snape never eats here", "Malice in his voice", "Threesome at Spinner's End", "Dumbledore was pretty firm with him", "I taught him! I thought I knew him!" and "Well done, Draco, well done" you will get a better feel for the particular version of the Potterverse in which this story is set._

He's standing outside Number 12 Grimmauld Place, with his wand in his hand, Mad-Eye Moody is standing next to him, also holding his wand, and visibly bristling with suspicion. He's looking out across the street at the small square and its unkempt grass, and he can't believe that Dumbledore's funeral was only three days ago, he can't believe that Dumbledore has been dead for less than a week.

He thinks, where the hell is Snape, he's late, he was supposed to be here five minutes ago, is this a joke, is this a trap? He clenches his hand around the handle of his wand – holly, phoenix feather, eleven inches – and he thinks, I suppose we've got to give him a chance, I suppose we've got to hear what he has to say … if he knows anything about the Horcruxes, if he can tell me anything about the Horcruxes, I have to hear it.

He'd spent the entire train journey back from Hogwarts with the Daily Prophet in his hands, the Prophet was really wallowing in the news of Dumbledore's funeral, practically the whole of the paper was devoted to reporting it … big photograph of Scrimgeour on the front page, no effort spared to hunt down the killers of Albus Dumbledore, fifty thousand galleons reward for Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy, use of the Unforgiveables has been authorised … it would be the death penalty for Snape and life imprisonment in Azkaban for Draco, if the Aurors could catch them.

Ron and Hermione had been sitting across from him, they didn't say a word but from time to time he glanced up and saw their faces, white and concerned, but he couldn't stop himself from reading the articles again and again, the extracts from Snape's Ministry file, most of the names of the wizards Snape had killed or helped to kill meant nothing to him, but some did … Gideon and Fabian Prewett, and Regulus Black. He'd wondered … did Molly know that Snape was one of the five Death Eaters who'd murdered her brothers? Did she know – and if she didn't know, how was she feeling now? How were Ginny and Ron feeling? And Sirius, could he have known, was that the reason for the dislike and distrust that he'd shown so strongly towards Snape? He'd remembered Sirius' words to Snape in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place, "I don't care if Dumbledore thinks you've reformed, I know better," and he'd thought, I shouldn't have interfered, I should have let Sirius curse him, I should have let Sirius kill him then …

He'd read the damning words, "I enjoy killing", and the lying ones that followed, "I don't do it any more. I know it is wrong," and he'd thought, Dumbledore knew about this, he knew what Snape was capable of, and not just wizards, Muggles as well, he confessed to killing "countless Muggles", how could Dumbledore have been fooled? How could he have believed for a moment that Snape felt remorse, Snape _hated_ my father, he _insulted_ my mother, how could Dumbledore have let him teach at Hogwarts, how could he have let that despicable creature near children? And Dumbledore must have known about Snape's family, too, must have known that Eileen Prince's father died in Azkaban, according to the Prophet he was suspected of much worse things than the offence for which he was convicted – breaking into Gringotts. And Snape had been proud of his mother's family, he called himself the Half-Blood Prince! He'd thought, maybe Aunt Marge was right, if there's something wrong with the bitch … there'll be something wrong with the pup …

Remus and Tonks had been waiting on the platform, standing a little distance away from the Dursleys, he'd nodded briefly to Remus and Tonks, and then he'd told the Dursleys that he wouldn't be staying long at Privet Drive, just until his birthday, he'd told them that Dumbledore had been murdered, and he'd almost thrown the copy of the _Daily Prophet_ at his aunt Petunia, so what if she hated everything to do with the wizarding world, if she wanted more information she could read about it for herself. He'd expected her to yowl and jump backwards at the sight of the moving photographs and the lurid headlines screaming the names Dumbledore, Snape, Malfoy, Potter, Scrimgeour … but he hadn't expected quite such a reaction. She'd screamed, pointed a trembling finger at the photograph of Snape – taken at last year's graduation, he was standing next to Montague, scowling and looking deeply resentful of Montague's hand clutching at his arm – and said, "That's _him_, that's Severus Snape," and he'd been really astonished. He never talked about Hogwarts at Privet Drive, the Dursleys didn't want to know, and he didn't want to tell them, he'd never mentioned Snape, never mentioned any of his subjects or any of the professors who taught them, so how could Petunia know Snape?

Uncle Vernon had wrapped his arms around Petunia and glared, he must have heard the story before, and Petunia had said, "Snape ... Severus Snape, he was a friend of your mother's from that horrible school you go to, he came around to the house to see her a couple of times after she left school, and he hurt me, he used a curse, it sounded like crucify, and he said he would do it again … if I ever called Lily a freak again, he would do it again." And Petunia had cried, and Vernon and Dudley had looked at him as if he was guilty by association, a criminal, a monster.

He'd told the Dursleys that he needed to speak to Remus for a moment, and he'd asked, straight-out, was there ever anything between Snape and my mother? And Remus had run his hands through his hair and looked bewildered and said, no, Snape and Lily did extra NEWT credit work in Potions together, and to be fair to him he was always decent to Lily. So he'd asked Remus again, are you sure my mother never went out with Snape? He'd remembered the stringy, round-shouldered teenager, and he'd thought, she couldn't, she couldn't have gone out with Snape, urgh, disgusting. Remus had said, James was the only boy Lily ever dated, and Snape didn't really go out with girls, not as such, he had a bit of a reputation in seventh year. And he'd asked, what kind of reputation? And Remus had said, in a way that made it clear that the topic was closed, the same kind of reputation that Sirius had.

Sirius! He'd remembered the handsome boy from Snape's memory, and the girl who had eyed him hopefully, he could imagine the kind of reputation Sirius might have had and he'd thought … when did Snape change from the weedy, defensive teenager he'd seen in the Pensieve into the graceful, dangerous adult he'd always known?

He'd sat in the back of the car on the way to Privet Drive, mulling it over, and thinking, Snape _crucioed_ Petunia, no wonder she hates wizards and everything to do with them, I would too in her place, why did Snape do that, but does it matter, I've had years of hell living with the Dursleys because of him. He'd been in a state of white-hot rage by the time they got to Number Four, and then things had got a lot worse. Uncle Vernon had opened the door, and amongst the mail lying on the mat was a letter for him, a letter addressed to Harry Potter, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, the only letter he'd ever received by Muggle post, the letter Molly had sent in fourth year - inviting him to the Quidditch World Cup - didn't count, it had been addressed to the Dursleys.

He'd picked the letter up and turned it over in his hands, his name and address were typewritten and there was no return address … strange … from the feel of it, there was something fairly bulky folded up inside it. He'd opened it, and found a blank piece of parchment … even stranger … he'd unfolded the parchment, and a piece of paper had dropped out, with more typewriting on it, he'd picked it up and he'd gone cold when he read the message.

_Potter,_

_I need to speak to you as soon as possible. Horcruxes. Use the parchment to communicate with me. Do not discuss this with Weasley and Granger. Tell Moody – only Moody._

_Snape_

He'd thought – the cunning, cunning bastard! Snape must have guessed that if the letter had been addressed in his handwriting, it would have been torn to shreds unopened.

He hadn't been stupid enough to try to use the parchment … he could almost hear Snape's voice, "This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic." So he'd sent Hedwig to fetch Mad-Eye Moody at once, and he'd paced up and down in his bedroom until Mad-Eye arrived. They'd discussed it endlessly, obviously it was some kind of trap, but the reference to Horcruxes was a bait that he couldn't resist. He hadn't explained to Mad-Eye exactly what the Horcruxes were, just told him that they were vital to destroying Voldemort, and sworn him to secrecy about them, he could trust Mad-Eye, he was nothing if not secretive.

Mad-Eye had told him what the parchment was, a means of communication, a message written on the parchment would appear on a counterpart, and vice versa, the Order sometimes used them. He'd thought, I bet Voldemort used something similar when he made his diary … the diary that he'd turned into the second Horcrux.

Mad-Eye had picked up a quill, written something, but nothing had happened, and Mad-Eye had observed, "Snape did a good job on this, it will be enchanted to respond only to your handwriting, Harry," and so he'd been the one to use the quill, and he'd wondered, what will happen? Is this parchment cursed with something really wicked, will my blood turn to boiling oil if I write on it? And he'd thought, why didn't Snape just send me a portkey in the mail, I just picked up this bloody parchment, I didn't think twice, I could have been whisked off to Voldemort's lair, so what the hell is Snape playing at?

He'd written, _You murdered Dumbledore, I saw you_, and it had been a little while before there was a reply, in Snape's characteristic spiky handwriting.

_I killed Dumbledore. I did not murder him._

He'd thought, how could I not have recognised his handwriting in that copy of _Advanced Potions?_ How could I not have recognised Snape's handwriting in that book?

And he'd replied, _What do you want?_

_To speak to you, to tell you the truth. You will need Dumbledore's Pensieve. Ask Moody to get it._

And there had been a bit more communication, backwards and forwards, and it had been agreed that they would meet Snape at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, the next day. Mad-Eye was very dubious, but he'd agreed, on the proviso that they call the Aurors as soon as they'd heard what Snape had to say. He'd been a bit surprised that Mad-Eye had agreed to help him at all.

And so now he's standing outside the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, waiting for the man who murdered the founder and leader of the Order, and there's no sign of him. There's only a Muggle standing in the square, a tall, slim Muggle wearing black jeans, white shirt, and a black leather jacket, a Muggle with shoulder length black hair tied back in a pony tail. The Muggle is smoking a cigarette, he turns towards them, throws the cigarette butt on the ground and grinds it underfoot with the heel of a black boot, and he recognises the hawk profile in the same instant that Mad-Eye whispers, _Snape,_ and raises his wand.

Snape has seen that they recognise him, he's walking towards them, but about twenty feet away he stops, slowly and carefully he reaches into a pocket of his jacket and removes his wand, he's holding it by the tip and not by the handle. Snape throws his wand on the ground and steps away from it, Mad-Eye walks forward to pick up Snape's wand, and he stares at Snape, and he imagines casting _Sectumsempra, for enemies_, and Snape's white shirt blossoming red with blood. He imagines the white shirt in rags, the gashes in Snape's chest, the gashes in the hated face, and he remembers when he used the curse against Malfoy … he remembers that Draco would have died in that bathroom if Snape hadn't been there, and he thinks, no, I'll hear what he has to say, and then we'll call the Aurors, it will be execution, not murder.

Snape and Mad-Eye have reached the front door now, Mad-Eye is taking no chances, his wand is only inches from Snape's throat. Snape stops, inclines his head, and acknowledges him with the single word, _Potter_, and he thinks, Muggle clothing suits Snape, he's nearly as menacing without robes or a wand as he is with them, but I'm not going back to Hogwarts next year, I'll be of age in a few weeks, and I stopped being afraid of him the night that Dumbledore died. He replies, _Snape_, the name sounds like a swear-word in his mouth, and he doesn't flinch from meeting Snape's eyes, he hopes that Snape will look into his mind and read the contempt and loathing that he feels for him.

Snape steps through the door, Mad-Eye following him, and he thinks, don't try anything, Snape, I may not have the nerve or the ability for the Unforgiveable Curses, but Mad-Eye does, and he won't hesitate to do it, he wants to do it, and if you try anything at all, he will do it … if you want to stay alive, Snape, you won't give him a reason.

Dumbledore's Pensieve is sitting on the kitchen table, in front of a chair with chains encircling its arms, the same sort of chair he's seen in the Wizengamot, the same sort of chair that he's seen in Dumbledore's memories of the questioning of Karkarov, and the trial of the Death Eaters accused of torturing the Longbottoms – Bellatrix Lestrange, Rodolphus Lestrange, Rastaban Lestrange and Barty Crouch. Snape doesn't need to be told what to do, he sits in the chair, the chains wrap themselves around Snape's arms, and he thinks, we've got him now, we can call the Aurors, and they'll bury him at Azkaban, next to his rotten grandfather … has he gone mad? What could Snape possibly have to tell me that could save him? I saw him kill Dumbledore with my own eyes, I saw Dumbledore plead with him for help, and I saw him do it, with my own eyes. But I must hear what he knows of the Horcruxes …

Snape is leaning forward a little, those cold, empty black eyes are fixed intently on him, Snape is ignoring Mad-Eye, and Mad-Eye moves restlessly, he's impatient to get it over with, and he growls, "I'd really do you over, Snape, you filthy traitor, if Harry didn't want to talk to you."

Snape replies, "Take a number, Moody, there's a queue of people lined up to do me over, don't you read the Daily Prophet?" but he knows that this is just reflexive nastiness, Snape is hardly aware of Mad-Eye, his entire attention is bent on him, Harry, and he thinks, I've never seen Snape without those curtains of greasy black hair hanging over his face, he looks different … he looks older, a bit careworn, life on the run doesn't seem to be suiting him … but it's over now, he'll be with Lucius Malfoy and the rest of his Death Eater mates, in Azkaban, awaiting trial, in a matter of hours.

Mad-Eye is growling again, "Get on with it, Snape, we haven't got all day," and he can't stop himself from saying, "It doesn't matter what you say, Snape, I know you're Voldemort's creature," and when he sees Snape flinch a little at the mention of Voldemort's name, he shouts, "Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort … you're one of his Death Eaters, why don't you like to hear his name?"

Snape looks agitated, but he quickly gets a grip on himself, and without any preliminaries, he begins to speak.

"I don't know how much you know of this, Potter, so I'll tell the whole story from the beginning. The Dark Lord was very displeased with Lucius Malfoy for allowing his diary to be destroyed, and you know what the diary was, don't you, Potter?"

He nods, yes, he knows that the diary was the second Horcrux, and he knows that Voldemort's anger was terrible to behold when he discovered that it had been destroyed … and suddenly he realises that it could only have been Snape who supplied that information.

"The Dark Lord was also very displeased with Lucius over the fiasco in the Department of Mysteries last year, but he could not punish him personally for it because Lucius had been captured and imprisoned in Azkaban … so he chose to punish him indirectly, by giving Draco a task to perform, a task that he could not perform, a task that he was expected to die trying to perform. The Dark Lord ordered him to kill Dumbledore."

He nods again, he remembers Dumbledore saying that Lucius Malfoy would be glad to be safe in Azkaban, safe from Voldemort's wrath, and he remembers Draco boasting to his friends on the Hogwarts Express, boasting of the job the Dark Lord had given him to do.

"Narcissa Malfoy came to me, in the summer break, to ask me to intercede with the Dark Lord on behalf of Draco. That I refused to do, for I knew that the Dark Lord would not be persuaded, and it would be foolish even to try. However, I offered to protect Draco, to look after him … I thought I might gain information from him if he trusted me. Narcissa asked me to make the Unbreakable Vow with her, asked me to swear to her that I would protect Draco. Do you know what an Unbreakable Vow is, and what the consequences of breaking it are? Anyone who breaks an Unbreakable Vow dies, they die immediately and they die horribly."

He nods, he'd overheard Snape tell Draco about the Vow, and maybe Draco had checked with his mother that Snape had told him the truth, he'd told Dumbledore that Snape had promised his mother … so Snape made the Vow to protect Draco, big deal.

Snape is hesitating a little before going on, as if he is finding it difficult to find the words.

"Narcissa put me in an awkward position … she brought her sister Bellatrix with her, and Bellatrix has never trusted me, has never believed that I had really returned to the Dark Lord. If I had refused to make the Vow, she would have had reason for her suspicions, she would have gone straight to the Dark Lord. I agreed to take the Vow, but Narcissa tricked me, she added a promise to the Vow that I had not agreed to make. She asked me to complete Draco's task, if he failed."

He takes a moment to digest the implications of this. If Draco failed in his mission, Snape was bound by an Unbreakable Vow to complete it, he was bound to kill Dumbledore, or die himself …

Snape is speaking again, "I told the Headmaster of the mistake that I had made, and he ordered me to fulfil the Vow. He reasoned that his life was, ah, more expendable than mine … that if I fulfilled the Vow, the Dark Lord might trust me sufficiently to share certain precious secrets with me, precious secrets that I could pass to you. The Headmaster ordered me to kill him, Potter."

He's stunned, this is insane, this can't be true, even if Snape had been tricked into an Unbreakable Vow to complete Draco's task, he wouldn't have needed Dumbledore's orders to kill him, Snape would never sacrifice himself for Dumbledore's sake. He remembers what Phineas Nigellus said about Slytherins, "We Slytherins are brave but not stupid. Given the choice, we will always choose to save ourselves." But Dumbledore wasn't a Slytherin, he didn't think like that … Dumbledore had pleaded with Snape, but what had he pleaded for?

And now Snape is saying something more, he's saying, "Dumbledore trusted me, Potter, he trusted me enough to tell me the whole of the prophecy before he … died," and Snape leans forward and whispers, "Power the Dark Lord knows not …"

Now he's really shaken, Dumbledore had gone to immense trouble to prevent Voldemort from learning the prophecy, and Dumbledore had told him in the broom shed at the Burrow that they were the only two people in the world who knew the whole of it, so why did he tell Snape? Did he tell Snape because he knew he was going to die? Is Snape telling the truth, because if Snape is telling the truth, if Snape is Dumbledore's man, through and through, his world has suddenly been turned upside down … He remembers the promise that Dumbledore extracted from him, the promise to obey his every command, to obey without question, and what it had led to, he remembers forcing Dumbledore to drink the potion in the cave, and how he'd hated doing it, been repulsed by what he was doing, and he wonders, did Snape give Dumbledore the same promise?

Snape is smirking with satisfaction at the effect his words have had, but Mad-Eye is on his feet, he's striding around the table towards Snape, shouting, "You slimy lying bastard!" and he sees Mad-Eye's fist swinging, hears the sickening wet crunch as it connects with Snape's nose, breaks Snape's nose, and hears himself shouting, "Stop that, Mad-Eye!"

Blood is running down Snape's face, blood is splashing onto the white shirt, the white shirt is blossoming with scarlet flowers of blood, just as he'd imagined, and he's horrified, disgusted … and Snape is twisting, helpless, in his chains, and looking at Mad-Eye with the same look of pure loathing he remembers from the Pensieve, the same look Snape had given James Potter as he lay on the ground, bound by the Impedimenta jinx, and he thinks, _damn, damn, damn_. He remembers the spell that Tonks had used to mend his broken nose, and he flicks his wand, _Episkey,_ but he can't remember the spell Hermione used to clean his face, so he gets out his handkerchief and he tries to wipe the blood off Snape's face. Snape doesn't make it easy for him, when he realises that he's going to touch him, Snape jerks his head away and spits, "If you must, Potter, use the spell – _Tergeo_." He thinks, you nasty git, I'm only trying to help you, and he remembers how Snape had reacted when his mother tried to help him, and he thinks, I will get to the bottom of that, I have to know if there was anything between Lily Evans and Severus Snape …

So he casts the cleansing spell, and sits back down, and Mad-Eye is speaking again, "You're lying, Snape, you've got some scheme on, some scheme to get us to help you to get rid of Voldemort, and then you'll double-cross us, and make yourself into the next Dark Lord."

Snape is laughing, a horrible, mirthless laugh, and he thinks, I've never heard Snape laugh before … Snape says, "Don't you know what the Dark Mark is, don't you know what it does? It's not just a tattoo, if I were to try to curse the Dark Lord, if I were to raise my hand against him, it would kill me. The Dark Lord runs no risk of disloyalty among his servants … he is not as trusting as Dumbledore was."

His anger towards Snape flares again, how dare he speak of trust and Dumbledore in the same breath? He says, angrily, "I don't believe you, Snape, I won't believe you without proof."

Snape sneers, "Obviously, Potter! That's why I asked you to bring the Pensieve. What memory do you want to see – me taking the Vow with Narcissa? The conversation I had with Dumbledore when I told him of the Vow?"

He thinks, no, I don't want to see those memories, I want to see the memory of Dumbledore losing his temper with you, the memory that you haven't offered, and he says, "I want to see the argument that Hagrid overheard, the argument that you had with Dumbledore in the Forbidden Forest."

Snape hesitates, shrugs, and says, "I'll need my wand."

Mad-Eye grunts, but he waves his wand, releases Snape's right hand from the chains, and passes him his wand, but again he's taking no chances, again his wand is only inches from Snape's throat, and he warns Snape, don't even think about it …

Snape raises his wand to his temple and places its tip into the greasy roots of his hair, deposits the silvery gossamer strand in the Pensieve, and returns his wand to Mad-Eye. Mad-Eye refastens the chains, and together they bend forward and plunge their faces into the silvery substance. They're falling, falling, through whirling darkness … and into darkness. They are standing on the fringes of the Forbidden Forest, it's dark, but a full moon is shining, he can see quite clearly once his eyes adjust, and only a few feet away from them stand Dumbledore and Snape, facing each other.

Dumbledore is speaking, he's asking, pleasantly, "How are you going with Draco?"

Snape is sneering, "Aunt Bellatrix has taught him both to distrust me, and the rudiments of Occlumency. I must say, Headmaster, that Draco seems to have quite an aptitude for Occlumency – unlike Potter. I can't break into Draco's mind without using techniques of which you would not approve, and which in any event the Unbreakable Vow precludes me from applying."

But now the sneer has disappeared from Snape's face, he looks agonised, and Dumbledore's blue eyes are locked with Snape's black ones, Dumbledore looks upset, and he realizes that Dumbledore must be using Legilimency, must be reading Snape's thoughts.

Now Snape is weeping – Snape is crying? – and shouting, shouting, "YOU TAKE TOO MUCH FOR GRANTED, DUMBLEDORE, AND I WON'T DO IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANY MORE!"

He's shocked and dismayed, he remembers shouting the same words in Dumbledore's office after Sirius died, he can see Snape's wand in his hand and he can feel Snape's magic building around him, and he knows, intuitively, that when it discharges there will be a tremendous blast … and now Dumbledore is shouting, "PROFESSOR SNAPE, YOU WILL DO WHAT YOU HAVE AGREED TO DO, YOU WILL CONTINUE WITH YOUR INVESTIGATIONS INTO SLYTHERIN HOUSE, AND YOU WILL REMEMBER THAT I AM THE HEADMASTER OF THIS SCHOOL!"

The effect of Dumbeldore's words is astounding, Snape has dropped his wand, he's kissing Dumbledore's robes and whimpering, "Master, I am sorry, do not punish me."

He knows where he has seen this before, the Death Eaters crawling to their master in the graveyard at Little Hangleton, Avery writhing and shrieking on the ground, Rookwood kneeling in the dark, curtained room, Bellatrix Lestrange begging Voldemort not to punish her in the Atrium at the Ministry of Magic, and he feels sick, why is Snape cringing to Dumbledore as if he were Voldemort? Dumbledore wasn't a sadistic psychopath, he didn't _crucio_ people for every little mistake …

Dumbledore is comforting Snape, soothing him, telling him over and over again that he won't be angry with him, promising him that he won't be angry, he'll never be angry with Snape, whatever he does … he helps Snape to his feet, and says, "Severus, I release you from your promise of obedience. When the time comes, you must do what you think best. You must choose."

And now he understands, and in a way it's a huge relief, Dumbledore wasn't a foolish old man, he was right to trust Snape … Dumbledore didn't order Snape to kill him, he asked, he pleaded with Snape to do it, and now he is almost crying, how could you do that, Dumbledore, how could you abandon me? Why did you sacrifice your life for Snape? And then he remembers how weakened Dumbledore had been by the potion, he remembers that Dumbledore was disarmed, he was facing four Death Eaters and Draco Malfoy. If Snape was bound by a Vow that would kill him if he broke it, Snape would have died on the ramparts of the Astronomy Tower and Dumbledore would have died anyway, maybe at the teeth of that foul werewolf … and he, he would have attacked them, and he would certainly have been killed, too. Snape had got the Death Eaters off the Tower, he had called them away, he'd got them out of Hogwarts, and Snape had not tried to kill him, he had not tried to take him to Voldemort … He realises that Dumbledore had sacrificed his life, not for Snape, but for him, for Harry, and he realises that he owes Snape an apology. He remembers the look of pain on Snape's face when he called him a coward, how his face had been demented, inhuman, and he thinks, did Snape love Dumbledore? Is it possible that Snape could love anyone?

He looks at Mad-Eye and he sees that he, too, has been shaken by what they've seen in the Pensieve, Mad-Eye is looking slightly nauseous, as if he's just watched someone being sick, and then Mad-Eye waves his wand, releases Snape from his chains.

He looks across the table towards Snape and he says, "I'm sorry." He's not quite sure what he means, he's not quite sure what he's sorry for, this is all too new and shocking, but he means it, though, and he looks at Snape unflinchingly, willing Snape to read his sincerity in his mind.

Snape looks away, and he realises that Snape doesn't want to know what he's thinking, what he's feeling, Snape is refusing to accept his apology.

Snape is sneering again, "I'm sorry, too, Potter, that I don't have any new information for you. The Dark Lord will not share his most precious secrets with me while Bellatrix Lestrange lives, and it may be a little while before an opportunity presents itself to dispose of her."

He thinks, Bellatrix will be next, she's next on Snape's list, and then Snape will be Voldemort's most loyal, most faithful servant, and then he realises, Dumbledore was not my last protector, Snape is, he's my last line of defence in dire need. He remembers the Muggle movie he watched on Dudley's VCR one night when the Dursleys were out, a science fiction movie that had creeped him out even though he hadn't known about the prophecy then, a movie about a boy whose inescapable destiny was to grow up to be the leader who would save the human race from robot monsters, and when the boy became a man he had programmed one of the robots to protect him and sent it back in time to when he was a child. He thinks, oh this is just great, now I'm John Connor, with my very own pet Terminator, my very own pet Death Eater …

Snape has switched his attention to Mad-Eye, he's telling them that he needs help with Draco, Draco is not cut out to be a Death Eater, and Voldemort will kill Draco if he fails again, Snape has a plan to keep Draco safe, but he needs Mad-Eye's assistance. Mad-Eye is asking him to explain …

Snape is curling his lip, "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

He knows the answer, how could he forget, a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death, but how is that going to help Draco?

Snape goes on, "I shall bring Draco up to London for a little Muggle-baiting fun, but we shall be so unfortunate as to run into a couple of off-duty Aurors, some old comrades from the Order of the Phoenix, perhaps. Naturally, there will be a battle. I'll stun Draco, then enervate him sufficiently to slip him a dose of the Draught of Living Death. He will be presumed dead - the Killing Curse leaves no visible marks - and taken to St Mungo's. Moody, you have a very special relationship with one of the Healers there, you can make sure that he isn't examined too closely. Narcissa will be allowed to see the body only for a moment, to formally identify it as that of her son, and then he'll be buried at Azkaban. He can stay there until the war is over … better put a note about it in your will, Moody, or Draco might be stuck in a coffin for ever."

Mad-Eye shrugs, it seems like the plan is OK with him, they can sort the details out later, when Mad-Eye has had a chance to talk with Kingsley and Tonks, very carefully, very discreetly.

He stares at Snape, aghast, Snape can't be thinking of burying Draco alive, indefinitely, that's horrible, worse than prison. And Dumbledore had said that Lucius was safe in Azkaban …

"Why can't Draco just join his dad in prison, why does he have to be buried alive?" he asks.

Snape is looking at him as if he's an idiot. "What makes you think that Lucius will be staying in prison?"

Mad-Eye is nodding agreement, and he understands, it will be all out war now that Dumbledore is dead, first Voldemort will break his Death Eaters out of Azkaban, then maybe launch an attack on the Ministry itself, or Gringotts, Voldemort must need money …

And now he thinks of something else, Snape said Muggle-baiting, and he asks, "You're not going to kill any Muggles are you, that won't be necessary?"

Snape says, indifferently, "There are sixty million Muggles in Britain, there's no reason to be squeamish about two or three less."

He looks to Mad-Eye for support, but Mad-Eye is shaking his head. He makes one last effort, "Surely Voldemort …"

"Do not say the Dark Lord's name!" spits Snape. "Don't you understand, Potter, this has to look good, I will have to answer to the Dark Lord for it!"

Snape is really angry now, he's hissing at him, "Are you afraid of the Dark Lord, Potter? Yes? But not enough. Unless you smarten up, he's going to get you one day, Potter, and I may not be there to save your skin."

Snape pulls something out of a jacket pocket, and tosses it on the table, it's some type of hand-gun, it's a firearm, a metal wand used by Muggles to kill each other …

"You know what this is? The Dark Lord thinks that a wizard without a wand is helpless – Moody made the same mistake today - the Dark Lord has no respect for Muggle technology. From now on, you will carry this Muggle weapon with you at all times."

He watches Snape's long thin fingers gliding expertly over the gun, caressing it, Muggle Dark Arts, trust Snape to know about the Muggle Dark Arts, showing him how to reload it, where the safety catch is, and Snape is telling him, it's not accurate over anything other than a short range, aim for the chest or the abdomen, we'll go into the garden and cast a Silencing Charm, and I'll teach you how to use it …

He says, "Not yet, I need to ask you some more questions."

Snape frowns, and he explains, "Dumbledore told me that he trusted you because of something to do with my parents, and I want to know what it was."

Snape looks uncomfortable, but he says, "I'll answer the question, but are you sure you want Moody to hear this?"

He looks at Mad-Eye, Mad-Eye hesitates, he knows why, Mad-Eye accepts Snape's story but he still doesn't want to leave him alone with Snape, it's a long ingrained habit of suspicion, but Snape says, "Relax, Moody, you can keep my wand," and Mad-Eye slowly gets to his feet, and leaves the kitchen.

Snape leans back in his chair, and says, "Do you mind if I smoke?" but it's not really a question, Snape is already pulling a packet of cigarettes and a lighter out of a pocket, and he thinks, insanely, I suppose Dumbledore wouldn't let him smoke at Hogwarts, bad example to the students …

Snape's face is inscrutable, he finishes his cigarette and stubs it out on the table, and then he says, bluntly and unemotionally, "I was in love with Lily Evans, I loved her, so when the Dark Lord decided to kill her and James, and to kill you, I went to Dumbledore," but Snape is not as calm as he's trying to appear, he's hanging his head and avoiding his eye.

And somehow he's not really surprised, there have been plenty of hints along the way, even if he didn't know that Snape had been hanging around the Evans house, Snape has never mentioned his mother, never said anything nasty about her … and was that memory in the Pensieve because James had threatened to take his pants off, or because he had called Lily a filthy Mudblood? He thinks, they were both brilliant Potions students, Remus said they'd done extra NEWT credit work together, if Hermione had looked up those old Potions awards as she said she was going to do, I bet she would have found one awarded to Eileen Prince, and another one awarded jointly to Severus Snape and Lily Evans, and Remus thought Snape was jealous of my father because of _Quidditch_ … no wonder Dumbledore wouldn't tell anyone why he trusted Snape, this is way too personal to share. He remembers the time that he and Ron stumbled on Ginny kissing Dean Thomas, how the monster in his chest had wanted to jinx Dean into a jelly, he's afraid to think of what he would have wanted to do to Dean if there'd been more than kissing between Ginny and Dean, and he thinks, this is awful, no wonder Snape has always been a bit … weird … about me, everyone goes on about how I look exactly like James, with Lily's eyes.

But he has to keep asking questions, he has to know why Voldemort didn't want to kill his mother. Lily was a Muggle-born, Voldemort thinks that Muggle-borns are scum, so why did he hesitate to kill her? He has to know the answer to the question that has been bothering him since Voldemort told him, from the back of Quirrell's head, "your mother needn't have died", since the Dementors dredged up those infantile memories of Voldemort saying, "Stand aside, you silly girl … stand aside, now," why would Voldemort show mercy? So he asks, even though he has a feeling that he doesn't really want to know the answer.

Snape has a strange look on his face, it takes him a while to realise that the look is shame, that Snape is really discomforted. Snape is refusing to look at him, he's reaching up and pulling the tie out of his pony tail, shaking his head and letting his black hair flop into curtains over his face, hiding his eyes, hiding his face, hiding his thoughts, and finally Snape says, "There are worse things than death, Potter. The Dark Lord didn't want to kill your mother because he intended to do something worse to her … he intended to give her to me, as a reward for bringing him the first part of the prophecy," and there's a tremor in the normally silky voice.

He thinks, oh why did I have to ASK? Why did I have to make him say THAT? This is more than awful … Snape must have really loved Lily, and he killed her, he must blame himself for that, perhaps he blames me, too, because if I hadn't been born … and what about Neville, Snape has always been such a bastard to him, and now maybe I know why. The plain, round, friendly face of Alice Longbottom that he'd seen in the photograph of the original members of the Order that Mad-Eye had shown him comes into his mind, and he asks, though he doesn't know quite why he's asking, he's just making it worse, "So if the Dark Lord had chosen Neville, would you have stayed faithful to him?"

Snape tosses back his hair, glares at him, and snaps, "Yes! No! I don't know, Potter, I don't know, why are you tormenting me like this? Isn't it enough that I've been paying for my mistakes for nearly seventeen years? That I'll keep paying for the rest of my life?"

Now it's his turn to feel ashamed, he says, in a low voice, "I understand," and he means, he understands that he's been asking cruel, prying questions, and that he's hurt and humiliated Snape almost beyond endurance.

But this has made Snape incandescent with rage, and he snarls, "You don't understand anything, Potter, why do you think I became a Death Eater? Oh, there were a lot of reasons, but one reason was to hurt Lily, to hurt her because she had to believe the best of everyone, even of me, and the Dark Lord gave me the opportunity to act on my cruellest and most violent impulses."

He looks into the black eyes opposite, glittering with fury, but he doesn't feel fear, only pity and horror.

Snape is snarling again, "Don't think I'm spying on the Dark Lord for you because I'm a _nice_ person, Potter, if I was a nice person I would have been sorted into Hufflepuff. Grow up, boy, you know what I've done, what I'll do again, what I'll enjoy doing … I'm spying on the Dark Lord because I hate him, and you're the only one who can destroy him, you're the Chosen One."

He thinks, Snape spied for Dumbledore and now he's spying for me, and I don't know how I'm going to manage him, I don't know how Dumbledore managed him. He's so messed up, every time I try to reach out to him he's going to hit back, and I don't think he can help it.

And he thinks, damn you Voldemort, Severus Snape was never going to be a nice person, those scribbled curses in Advanced Potions show that, but if it hadn't been for you, he wouldn't have become a Death Eater, he wouldn't have become a murderer, he wouldn't have become this awful, vicious, wounded creature, and I will destroy you for it, for this crime alone, Voldemort, I swear I will destroy you.


	2. Chapter 2: Severus Snape

**Power the Dark Lord knows not**

**Chapter 2: Snape**

He's thinking, maybe it's a trap, maybe half of the Order are waiting for me in the house, maybe they're going to call the Aurors as soon as they've got my wand … and that would be _bad_. Well of course that was always the fatal weakness in Dumbledore's plan, how was he going to do it in a way that would convince the Dark Lord, once and for all, of where his loyalties lie, do it in a way that would convince the whole of the wizarding world - and still get Potter to believe him, get Potter to believe any information about the Horcruxes that he can give to Potter?

He thinks, what if the Dark Lord finds out I'm here? That would be _worse_, I can spin him a story that I was trying to trap Potter, trying to bring Potter to him, he might believe it, although he'll be pissed I didn't run it by him first, but if he doesn't believe me … it probably won't be death by _crucio_, he'll rough me up a bit but he wouldn't give me the dignity of killing me by magic, he wouldn't give me the honour of killing me himself, he didn't kill Regulus Black personally, ha, he gave _me_ that job, because we were friendly at school, we were both victims of his arsehole of a brother … the Dark Lord knows I hate werewolves, he might let the werewolf have me, he might give me to Greyback … that foul disgusting werewolf, why doesn't Lupin kill him, doesn't he understand that he isn't going to get anywhere with the werewolf pack unless he kills Greyback, makes himself the pack leader? He thinks, Greyback is on _my_ list, but it might be a while before I get to him, I've got other priorities at the moment … Bellatrix is first up … why doesn't Lupin do it, the weak bastard …

He remembers the beatings his father gave him as a child, and he thinks, the Dark Lord knows about that, probably he'll have Crabbe and Goyle do it, Muggle-style, and he thinks about what Crabbe and Goyle will do to him with their fists and their boots, they'll start by breaking his nose and his jaw and his ribs but that will just be the beginning, and he thinks, I'm a wizard, I won't die as quickly as a Muggle, I won't die until they've _really_ made a mess of me, and he is nearly sick with fear.

Moody and Potter have finally recognised him, he thinks _so it begins_, and he tosses his cigarette butt on the ground, grinds it into the ground with his heel. He walks towards them but he knows the drill, the procedure if you want to give yourself up to the Aurors, so he stops a fair distance away and carefully takes his wand out of his jacket pocket – oak, dragon heartstring, thirteen inches – drops it on the ground, and steps away from it. He wonders if he'll ever hold that wand again, he's fond of it, it's only the second wand he's ever used in his life …

Moody picks up his wand and escorts him up to the front door, and Potter is waiting for him, and he thinks, you little sod Potter, you don't know what I've done for you, but you're about to find out, and I hope it _hurts_ … but he still winces inside when he hears Potter pronounce his name as if it was a swear-word. Potter is glaring at him, and he thinks, as if I need Legilimency to see how much you hate me … Albus, it's going to be tough job to convince Potter of the truth, even if they have brought your Pensieve.

He walks through the front door, and he thinks, _this is it_ … but the hallway is empty. Moody is prodding his neck with his wand, so he keeps walking all the way down to the kitchen, and when he sees the Pensieve sitting on the kitchen table he almost sighs audibly with relief. He doesn't need to be told that the chair with chains dangling from its arms is for him, he can remember the day he appeared before Bartemius Crouch, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and Dumbledore vouched for him as if it was yesterday. He sits in the chair, feels the chains wrap themselves around his arms, and looks across the table at Moody and Potter. Moody says something to him, something about doing him over, and he answers, but he's just being reflexively nasty, he's hardly thinking about what he's saying, Potter is the key, Potter is the only one who counts.

Moody is growling again, "Get on with it, Snape, we haven't got all day," and he's about to start speaking when Potter says, "It doesn't matter what you say, Snape, I know you're Voldemort's creature." He flinches a little at the mention of the Dark Lord's name, and Potter starts shouting, "_Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort_ … you're one of his Death Eaters, why don't you like to hear his name?" And he knows that his fear of the Dark Lord is showing on his face, just as the pain of the Dark Mark is burning in his arm. He thinks, does Potter know it hurts, it hurts to speak of the Dark Lord's name, is he deliberately tormenting me? Oh, this is going well – _not_. And his fear of the Dark Lord is almost overwhelming, he thinks, Dumbledore is dead, the Headmaster is dead, my protector is dead …

He thinks, _get a grip_, the Dark Lord's name is going to be thrown around like confetti in _this_ conversation, so he pushes the pain and fear away, fixes his eyes on Potter's face, leans forward a little, and without any preliminaries he begins his story.

"I don't know how much you know of this, Potter, so I'll tell the whole story from the beginning. The Dark Lord was very displeased with Lucius Malfoy for allowing his diary to be destroyed, and you know what the diary was, don't you, Potter?"

Potter nods, yes, he knows that the diary was the second Horcrux, and Dumbledore must have told him how the Dark Lord punished Lucius for his mistake.

"The Dark Lord was also very displeased with Lucius over the fiasco in the Department of Mysteries last year, but he could not punish him personally for it because Lucius had been captured and imprisoned in Azkaban … so he chose to punish him indirectly, by giving Draco a task to perform, a task that he could not perform, a task that he was expected to die trying to perform. The Dark Lord ordered him to kill Dumbledore."

Potter nods again, good, he's keeping up with the story, and he sees in the boy's eyes that he believes him.

"Narcissa Malfoy came to me, in the summer break, to ask me to intercede with the Dark Lord on behalf of Draco. That I refused to do, for I knew the Dark Lord would not be persuaded, and it would be foolish even to try. However, I offered to protect Draco, to look after him … I thought I might gain information from him if he trusted me. Narcissa asked me to make the Unbreakable Vow with her, asked me to swear to her that I would protect Draco. Do you know what an Unbreakable Vow is, and what the consequences of breaking it are? Anyone who breaks an Unbreakable Vow _dies_, they die immediately and they die horribly."

Potter nods, and he sees that the Unbreakable Vow is not new information, but he hesitates a little before going on, this is the difficult bit …

"Narcissa put me in an awkward position … she brought her sister Bellatrix with her, and Bellatrix has never trusted me, has never believed that I had really returned to the Dark Lord. If I had refused to make the Vow, she would have had reason for her suspicions, she would have gone straight to the Dark Lord. I agreed to take the Vow, but Narcissa tricked me. She added a promise to the Vow that I had not agreed to make. She asked me to complete Draco's task, if he failed."

He pauses, he needs to choose his words carefully, he doesn't want to tell Potter about what happened in the Forbidden Forest and how the Headmaster released him from his promise of obedience, not unless he has to.

"I told the Headmaster of the mistake that I had made, and he ordered me to fulfil the Vow. He reasoned that his life was, ah, more expendable than mine … that if I fulfilled the Vow, the Dark Lord might trust me sufficiently to share certain precious secrets with me, precious secrets that I could pass to you. The Headmaster ordered me to kill him, Potter."

Potter is looking befuddled, but he can see that the boy is thinking about what he has said, and he's got another card to play. He says, "Dumbledore _trusted_ me, Potter, he trusted me enough to tell me the whole of the prophecy before he … died," and he leans forward and whispers the important part of the prophecy, _power the Dark Lord knows not_ … the rest of it was just some guff about how Potter would have to kill the Dark Lord or be killed by him, no surprises there … Clever of Dumbledore, to make such a big fuss about the prophecy, the Dark Lord had been obsessed with it, and Dumbledore had bought another year of life for Potter, another year for Potter to grow up in.

Potter has really been thrown by _this_ information, and he can't restrain a smirk, but he's forgotten about Moody, Moody is striding around the table towards him, and shouting something about _slimy lying bastard_, and there's a horrible wet crunching noise as Moody's fist smacks into his nose, _breaks_ his nose … blood is spurting all over his shirt, and he twists in his chains, looks loathingly at Moody, and he thinks, that bloody _hurt_, Moody, you _prick_, you would have made a good Death Eater … if I had my wand, Moody, I'd finish the job I started seventeen years ago, I'd pulverise every bone in your body, not just the ones in your leg.

What the hell is Potter doing? Potter has got his handkerchief out, and he realises that Potter is going to _touch_ him, he never lets _anyone_ touch him – he's humiliated and angry, he jerks his head away and spits, "If you _must_, Potter, use the spell – _Tergeo_."

Now Moody is speaking again, "You're lying, Snape, you've got some scheme on, some scheme to get us to help you to get rid of Voldemort, and then you'll double-cross us, and make yourself into the next Dark Lord."

He laughs, he can't believe what he's hearing, doesn't Moody know anything? He thinks, the Dark Mark is a chain, and I can rattle my chain but I can't break it, and he says, "Don't you know what the Dark Mark _is_, don't you know what it _does_? It's not just a tattoo, if I were to try to curse the Dark Lord, if I were to raise my hand against him, it would kill me. The Dark Lord runs no risk of disloyalty amongst his servants … he's not as _trusting_ as Dumbledore was."

But Potter flares up again, he says, angrily, "I don't believe you, Snape, I won't believe you without proof."

He sneers, "Obviously, Potter! That's why I asked you to bring the Pensieve. What memory do you want to see – me taking the Vow with Narcissa? The conversation I had with Dumbledore when I told him of the Vow?"

But Potter wants to see the argument with Dumbledore, the argument in the Forbidden Forest, and he hesitates for a moment, he'd prefer that Potter and Moody didn't see _that_ memory, the memory of him snivelling and begging to Dumbledore, but this is more important than his pride, so he shrugs, and says, "I'll need my wand."

Potter and Moody are clearly shaken by what they've seen in the Pensieve, they're looking slightly nauseous, as if they've just watched someone being sick, but it's done the job. Moody waves his wand, releases him from his chains, and he allows himself to relax … he'd dearly like to have his wand in his hand again, and he's about to ask for it when Potter looks at him from across the table and says, "I'm sorry."

Potter is SORRY? Sorry for what? But he looks away, he doesn't want to know what's going on in Potter's mind. He thinks, are you sorry that Dumbledore is dead? Well, I'm sorry too, but I've got a job to do, and so have you, you little bastard, you're the _weapon_, the only one who can kill the Dark Lord, and you'd better hurry up and do it. I don't know what the _power the Dark Lord knows not_ is, it can't be "love", it's got to be something really deadly, and you'll be of age soon. He remembers how much stronger his own magic became once he turned seventeen and came of age, and he wonders if the power referred to in the prophecy will start to manifest itself once Potter comes of age. Whatever, he needs to wrap this up, he wants to get back to Spinner's End as soon as he can, so he sneers again, "I'm sorry, too, Potter, that I don't have any new information for you. The Dark Lord will not share his most precious secrets with me while Bellatrix Lestrange lives, and it may be a little while before an opportunity presents itself to dispose of her."

He switches his attention to Moody, he's telling them that he needs help with Draco, Draco is not cut out to be a Death Eater and the Dark Lord will kill Draco if he fails again, he has a plan to keep Draco safe, to keep his whole family safe, oh yes Narcissa and Lucius will be just fine if Draco dies a hero's death battling Aurors … but he needs Moody's assistance. He thinks, I need you now, Moody, but I won't forget that you hit me, you hit me like a filthy Muggle, I won't forget _that_, and I haven't forgotten the time that you broke my wand, either, it may have been sixteen years ago but I haven't forgotten ...

Moody is asking him to explain …

He curls his lip, "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Potter won't have forgotten _that_ – and Moody will know of it - the Draught of Living Death.

He goes on, "I shall bring Draco up to London for a little Muggle-baiting fun, but we shall be so unfortunate as to run into a couple of off-duty Aurors, some old comrades from the Order of the Phoenix, perhaps. Naturally, there will be a battle. I'll stun Draco, then enervate him sufficiently to slip him a dose of the Draught of Living Death. He will be presumed dead – the Killing Curse leaves no visible marks - and taken to St Mungo's. Moody, you have a very special relationship with one of the Healers there, you can make sure that he isn't examined too closely. Narcissa will be allowed to see the body only for a moment, to formally identify it as that of her son, and then he'll be buried at Azkaban. He can stay there until the war is over … better put a note about it in your will, Moody, or Draco might be stuck in a coffin for ever."

Moody shrugs, it's OK with him, they can sort the details out later, when Moody has had a chance to speak to Shacklebolt and Tonks, to speak to them very carefully and discreetly.

Potter is protesting, "Why can't Draco just join his dad in prison, why does he have to be buried alive?" Is Potter a cretin, what makes him think that Lucius will be staying in prison, now that Dumbledore is dead, now that the only wizard that the Dark Lord ever feared is dead? Oh no, Draco won't be safe in Azkaban, but he'll be safe in a wooden box underground.

Moody has caught on, he's not stupid, he's realised that the Dark Lord's next move will be to break his Death Eaters out of Azkaban.

Potter asks, "You're not going to kill any Muggles are you, that won't be necessary?"

Potter cares about Muggles? He thinks, I thought Potter _hated_ those Muggles he lives with, Lily's bitch sister, her husband, and their lumpish son, and he remembers giving Petunia a dose of _crucio_, she'd practically asked for it, telling him "My _freak_ sister isn't here, she's out with her boyfriend," how dare a Muggle insult Lily, how dare a Muggle insult a _witch_? He says, indifferently, "There are sixty million Muggles in Britain, there's no reason to be squeamish about two or three less."

Potter looks to Moody for support, but Moody is shaking his head. Moody at least has his head screwed on, and hopefully he'll teach Potter a few of the things he needs to know – such as to be careful when using _Stupefy_ in confined spaces, it has a tendency to ricochet, and you can knock yourself out with your own spell …

Potter is still squeaking away, "Surely Voldemort …" and he loses his temper. "_Do not say the Dark Lord's name_!" he spits. "Don't you understand, Potter, this has to look _good_, I will have to answer to the Dark Lord for it!"

The Dark Lord will only be slightly annoyed at losing Draco, but he's got his reputation to think of, shit, if a few Muggles don't go down, he'll look like an idiot.

He's really angry now, he's hissing at Potter, "Are you afraid of the Dark Lord, Potter? Yes? But not_ enough_. Unless you smarten up, he's going to get you one day, Potter, and I may not be there to save your skin."

He pulls a Muggle hand-gun out of a jacket pocket, tosses it on the table, and he tells Potter, "You know what this is? The Dark Lord thinks that a wizard without a wand is helpless – Moody made the same mistake today - the Dark Lord has no respect for Muggle technology. From now on, you will carry this Muggle weapon with you _at all times_."

It's only a little gun, almost the sort of thing American Muggle females carry in their handbags, it's not a _magnum_, ha ha ha, it's not Dirty Harry's favourite weapon, but that's OK, it has to be small, easily concealed in a jacket or robes, it's a weapon of last resort, Potter's last line of defence, if he's not there to protect the brat. He shows Potter how to reload it, where the safety catch is, and he tells him, it's not accurate over anything other than a short range, aim for the chest or the abdomen, we'll go into the garden and cast a Silencing Charm, and I'll teach you how to use it …

Potter says, "Not yet, I need to ask you some more questions."

He frowns, is Potter going to ask him why he became a Death Eater? Dumbledore never asked him _that_ question, he knew the answer. He thinks, Merlin, it was nearly twenty years ago, I can't really remember, I suppose it began when Gringotts knocked me back for a job as a curse-breaker, well of course the goblins do background checks on all their applicants, they were never going to give a job to the grandson of the man who robbed them, not that I knew it at the time, I didn't find out about my mother's father until after she died …

But it isn't that, it's worse, Potter is saying, "Dumbledore told me that he trusted you because of something to do with my parents, and I want to know what it was."

He thinks, Albus, why did you have to tell him _that_, why did you have to tell him anything at all? He considers refusing to answer the question, but there's no avoiding it, really, and if he won't answer, Moody may become suspicious again, but he can save some scraps of his dignity. He says, "I'll answer the question but are you sure you want Moody to hear this?"

Potter looks at Moody, Moody hesitates, he knows why, Moody believes his story but he still doesn't want to leave him alone with the kid, it's a long ingrained habit of suspicion, he'd feel the same way himself, so he says, "Relax, Moody, you can keep my wand," and Moody slowly gets to his feet, and leaves the kitchen.

He leans back in his chair, and he thinks, I _really_ need a cigarette, so he says, "Do you mind if I smoke", but it's not really a question, he lights a cigarette and he wonders how he's going to start, how he's going to tell James Potter's son that Severus Snape loved Lily Evans? He thinks about lying to the boy as he's lied to himself for twenty years, telling him that Lily was _just a friend_, but that won't wash, no one defies the Dark Lord for the sake of a _friendship_, hell, he was friends with Regulus but that hadn't prevented him from killing Regulus.

Potter is looking at him, he can't put it off any longer, even though he's writhing inside, and he thinks, keep it short and sweet, keep it brief, there's no need to go into detail, and so he says, bluntly and unemotionally, "I was in love with Lily Evans, I loved her, so when the Dark Lord decided to kill her and James, and to kill you, I went to Dumbledore," and he thinks, I'm not ashamed of loving Lily, she was one of the few good things in my life … but even so he hangs his head and avoids Potter's eye, because this is another time when he doesn't _want_ to know what Potter is thinking.

He thinks, I've said it, I've told Potter what he wanted to know, it's over now, and he glances up to see how Potter is taking it, and the Golden Gryffindor seems to be coping, he doesn't look as if he's going to scream or cry or faint at the news that a filthy Slytherin had dared to look at his mother, and thank Merlin he hasn't reached for his wand … but Potter is asking more questions, he's asking, why didn't the Dark Lord want to kill my mother? She was a Muggle-born, the Dark Lord thinks that Muggle-borns are scum, so why did he hesitate to kill her? I heard him say to her, "Stand aside, you silly girl … stand aside, now …"

He thinks, sweet Merlin, how does the boy know _that_? He's really rattled, he doesn't know what to say, and he reaches up and pulls the tie out of his pony tail, shakes his head and lets his black hair flop into curtains over his face, hiding his eyes, hiding his face, hiding his thoughts. He thinks of refusing to answer the question, he thinks of lying, but this is the kind of thing that Bellatrix could use against Potter, could taunt him with, and the stupid boy has no self-control, he's easily goaded … He thinks, Potter is the Chosen One, I have to do what it takes, whatever it takes, even _this_, but Potter has his wand and I don't have mine, he's got the gun, too, how is he going to react when he finds out the Dark Lord was going to give Lily to _me_? Is _this_ the impetus Potter needs to cast the Killing Curse? _Then so be it_ … and he thinks, it will be quick, and it might even be painless.

He musters all the self-control he uses when he's in the presence of the Dark Lord, and he thinks, ha, I'm in the presence of my new master now, and he says, "There are worse things than death, Potter. The Dark Lord didn't want to kill your mother because he intended to do something _worse_ to her … he intended to give her to me, as a reward for bringing him the first part of the prophecy," but he can't stop his voice from cracking, because it is painful to have to think of it, and it is shameful to have to speak of it. He remembers the long hours alone with Lily in the dungeons, late at night, babysitting some of Slughorn's more temperamental elixirs, she'd fall asleep sometimes, with her head on his shoulder, and he could smell her hair. He'd think, James _must_ have had her, and his jealousy and desire were almost uncontrollable, he was stronger than her, physically and magically, it would have been so easy … and he could obliviate her afterwards, he knew the spell, but he wanted it to be different with Lily, something special, not just sex, and he couldn't hurt her, she _trusted_ him, so he'd think, James and Lily are goody-goody Gryffindors, they're saving themselves for _marriage_.

And he remembers a fragment of the Muggle marriage service, _with my body I thee worship_, and he realises, I wanted to marry Lily, not to violate her. Oh, his heart had leapt with hope and joy and then sunk in shame and despair when the Dark Lord promised him Lily Potter as his reward for bringing the prophecy, when the Dark Lord said, "I see that you're … attracted … to the Mudblood witch. You can have her when I've killed Potter and the boy," when he'd realised what _that _meant, a Memory Charm strong enough to obliterate Lily's memories of James and the baby, leaving her an empty shell, it would be worse than killing her, nearly as bad as a Dementor's Kiss, she'd be just a body to _use_.

He lurks behind his greasy hair, and he braces himself for Potter's anger and disgust, as he had braced himself for Dumbledore's anger and disgust, the day that he went to him, begged him to save Lily, and showed him the Dark Mark, the Mark of the master he'd sworn to leave for ever.

But Potter doesn't seem angry, he's asking him, what if the Dark Lord had chosen Neville? What if he had chosen the Longbottom boy? And he thinks, as if I haven't asked myself _that_ question a thousand times! He wonders, what would I have done when I realised that the Dark Mark isn't a badge of honour, it's the brand of a serf? Would I have rebelled, as Regulus did? But he's sick of these questions, he's sick of being tormented, so he snaps at Potter, "Yes! No! I don't know, Potter, I don't _know_, why are you tormenting me like this? Isn't it enough that I've been paying for my mistakes for nearly seventeen years? That I'll keep paying for the rest of my life?"

Damn Potter, why did he have to mention the Longbottoms, why did Potter have to make him remember the fantasy that he's dreamed of a thousand times? The fantasy that the Dark Lord chose the Longbottom boy, that the Dark Lord never went to Godric's Hollow, the fantasy that Lily might have been widowed in the war, and she would have needed a powerful protector, an old friend who really cared for her, and if she could not be _in love_ with him, she might have come to love him, if he was gentle and persistent … and he thinks, that is another lie I told myself, because even if the Dark Lord hadn't ordered her to be killed just because she was Muggle-born, she would have never looked at me, not when she knew what I _was._ Lily didn't love me, but she was _kind_ to me, so I made myself disgusting to her, and I've been doing the same thing for twenty years, I've made myself disgusting to everyone who has tried to be kind to me, I drove every single one of them away, every one of them, except Albus, and I _miss_ Albus, I miss him so much, I loved him, too, I loved Albus and Lily and now they're both dead, I killed both of them …

Potter is telling him that he understands, and suddenly it comes bursting out, another truth that he's kept from himself for twenty years, "You don't understand _anything_, Potter, why do you think I became a Death Eater? Oh, there were a lot of reasons, but one reason was to _hurt_ Lily, to hurt her because she had to believe the best of everyone, even of _me_, and the Dark Lord gave me the opportunity to act on my cruellest and most violent impulses."

He looks into Potter's eyes and he sees pity and horror, and horror he can live with, but not pity, he can't have that, he must put a stop to _that_, so he snarls, "Don't think I'm spying on the Dark Lord for you because I'm a _nice_ person, Potter, if I was a nice person I would have been sorted into _Hufflepuff_. Grow up, boy, you know what I've done, what I'll do again, what I'll _enjoy_ doing … I'm spying on the Dark Lord because I _hate_ him, and you're the only one who can destroy him, you're the_ Chosen One_."


	3. Chapter 3: Alastor Moody

**Power the Dark Lord knows not**

**Chapter 3: Moody**

He's thinking, I'm getting _old_, I'm getting _slack_, I should have recognised him straight away, after all it's not the first time I've seen Snape in Muggle clothes. Constant vigilance, Moody! He watches Snape drop the wand on the ground, Snape knows the drill if you want to surrender to an Auror, but he's listening for the crack of a dozen Death Eaters Apparating into the square. He's ready to hustle Harry back through the front door of Number Twelve, it's still protected, it's still a fortress, Snape might be able to lead the Death Eaters to Grimmauld Place but he's still the only one who can get through the door of Number Twelve. He thinks, this is _madness_, this must be some kind of a trap, this is some Byzantine scheme of Voldemort's, he's using Snape as bait for Harry … but Harry had been insistent that they meet Snape, meet him alone as he had demanded, hear what Snape had to say about the Horcruxes.

Horcruxes! He has never heard of them, but instinctively he knows that this is Dark Magic, the Darkest Magic … and Albus had told him the prophecy, sworn him to secrecy, and asked him to help Harry in every way. He thinks, did Albus know he was going to die? Is that why he told me the prophecy? That right hand … it was getting _worse_, not better, did Albus know he was going to die?

He's made all the arrangements, pulled strings at the Ministry to get his hands on an interrogation chair, "borrowed" the Hogwarts Pensieve – what Minerva doesn't know won't hurt her – and it seems that it isn't a trap, is Snape _insane_? Scrimgeour has brought back the death penalty, they didn't even do that in the first war, Scrimgeour will have Snape put down like an uncontrollable Hippogriff, and claim all the credit for catching him … what can Snape possible tell them that will save his skin?

He escorts Snape down the hall and into the kitchen at wand point, Snape doesn't need to be told that the chair with the chains is for him, he sits down and fixes his eyes on Harry.

He remembers the night they'd all dined in this kitchen, celebrating the establishment of Headquarters, and Snape had been with them, Albus had made his usual little speech to him and Sirius, we're all members of the Order, subtext, lay off Snape, and he remembers that he'd kept quiet for years about all the nasty details in Snape's Ministry file, he hadn't told Sirius about Regulus or Molly about her brothers, he hadn't given the names of the wizards that Snape had killed or helped to kill to anyone. Suddenly he's really angry with Snape, and he growls, "I'd really do you over, Snape, you filthy _traitor_, if Harry didn't want to talk to you."

Snape replies, "Take a number, Moody, there's a queue of people lined up to do me over, don't you read the _Daily Prophet?_" but he knows that this is just reflexive nastiness, Snape's attention is completely focused on Harry.

He thinks, let's get this show on the road, let's hear what the greasy git has to say about the Horcruxes, so he growls again, "Get on with it, Snape, we haven't got all day."

Snape is about to start speaking when Harry says, "It doesn't matter what you say, Snape, I know you're Voldemort's creature." Snape flinches a little at the mention of the Dark Lord's name, and Harry loses the plot and starts shouting, "_Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort_ … you're one of his Death Eaters, why don't you like to hear his name?"

He thinks, if Harry keeps shouting _Voldemort_ like that, Snape will piss himself, I wonder why the Death Eaters can't stand to hear their Dark Lord's name spoken aloud, it might have something to do with the Dark Mark, that's the kind of stunt Voldemort would pull, his Death Eaters are just his servants, just his _tools_ … filth, vicious filth, but I can't help feeling a tiny bit sorry for them sometimes, I thought we Slytherins were smarter than that, too smart to sell our souls for a little scrap of shared power. Look at Bellatrix Lestrange, a pureblood princess, a daughter of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, _toujours pur_, and she whored herself for Voldemort, from what Remus and Sirius have told me … oh, she was gorgeous before she went to Azkaban, a man would have been prepared to do almost anything to get into bed with her, I used to think she must have been the reason why Sirius went bad, he was always susceptible to a beautiful woman. Poor bitch, Bellatrix was mad enough before she went to Azkaban, but now she's rabid … and what about her brother-in-law, Lucius Malfoy, he's a nasty piece of work, but what could Voldemort have offered him that he didn't already have? Money, position, power, the Malfoys have always had those … and now his kid has got mixed up in it, the boy is still only sixteen, and from what Harry says, Draco doesn't have the stomach for the kinds of tasks Voldemort gives to his Death Eaters.

No, Draco doesn't seem to be made of the same stuff as his father – or his father's best mate, Severus Snape. Oh, Snape had been in a hurry to become a Death Eater, he was only eighteen when he joined Voldemort's followers. He remembers when he arrested Snape, just after Voldemort fell, Severus Snape and Barty Crouch had been the two youngest of Voldemort's surviving Death Eaters, and in his opinion the two most vicious, barring none, not even Bellatrix Lestrange. He thinks, what a joke, Voldemort's chief lieutenant is a _half-blood_, and those stinking Death Eaters think a half-blood is just one step up from a Mudblood. And he'd been one of the team that arrested Snape's grandfather, he'd been a very junior Auror in those days, only just qualified, it had been a seven days' wonder, and he's surprised that he never made the connection between the Prince family and Snape, but then Snape looks nothing like a Prince, except for the black eyes, he must take after his Muggle father.

Snape has got a grip on himself, and without any preliminaries, he begins to speak, begins to tell some convoluted tale of a task given by Voldemort to Draco Malfoy to punish his father, a task he was not supposed to succeed in carrying out. Snape is saying that Narcissa Malfoy had come to him, to ask him for help, and he'd agreed to look out for Draco, but that hadn't been enough for Narcissa, she'd asked for an Unbreakable Vow, and this has the ring of truth. He knows something of Narcissa Malfoy, she's not a Death Eater herself, but she's completely devoted to her Death Eater husband, and to her son. Snape is saying that Narcissa tricked him, tricked him into promising to complete Draco's task if he failed, and in this way became bound by an Unbreakable Vow to kill Dumbledore if Draco could not, and now he's claiming that Dumbledore ordered him to fulfil the Vow!

Harry is looking impressed, Merlin, does he believe any of this rubbish? And now Snape is saying something more, he's saying, "Dumbledore _trusted_ me, Potter, he trusted me enough to tell me the whole of the prophecy before he … died," and Snape is leaning forward and whispering something to Harry, smirking with satisfaction at the effect his words have had.

How dare the dirty traitor use the words "trust" and Dumbledore" in the same breath! He remembers how he'd warned Albus, time and time again, that Snape couldn't be trusted, and he's on his feet, he's striding around the table towards Snape, shouting, "You slimy _lying_ bastard!" and his fist is swinging. He hears the satisfying wet crunch of his fist connecting with Snape's nose, of Snape's nose _breaking_, sees the blood spurting over Snape's shirt, and he thinks, I've been wanting to do that for _years_. And then he thinks, _shit_, that was totally out of order, hitting a prisoner, Muggle-style … I've never done that before.

He feels a little ashamed of himself, and he watches in silence as Harry mends Snape's nose and cleans up the mess. He's thinking, whatever these Horcruxes are, they have to be destroyed before Voldemort can be killed, and even when the Horcruxes are out of the way, it will still take a wizard of uncommon skill and power to kill Voldemort, I wonder if Snape is playing both ends against the middle? He remembers that Snape had been dangerous enough sixteen years ago, and Snape was just a kid then really, only twenty-two or thereabouts, but he still hadn't been able to get Snape to talk. Veritaserum had no effect, some kind of acquired immunity, and _crucio_ would have killed Snape before it broke him. Eventually he'd got so frustrated he'd broken Snape's wand … Albus had been angry about that, when he found out that Snape was in custody, and came to collect his spy. He looks at Snape and he thinks, the cunning bastard has grown so much more powerful since then, does he fancy himself as Voldemort's successor?

He says, "You're lying, Snape, you've got some scheme on, some scheme to get us to help you to get rid of Voldemort, and then you'll double-cross us, and make yourself into the next Dark Lord."

Snape laughs, and says, "Don't you know what the Dark Mark _is_, don't you know what it _does_? It's not just a tattoo, if I were to try to curse the Dark Lord, if I were to raise my hand against him, it would kill me. The Dark Lord runs no risk of disloyalty amongst his servants … he's not as _trusting_ as Dumbledore was."

He thinks, that sounds about right, I've always thought the Dark Mark must have been developed from the spells that are used in an Unbreakable Vow, it would be like Voldemort to use something like that to keep his creatures in order … but I'm not going to believe a word that Snape says without proof.

Harry echoes his thoughts with words, "I don't believe you, Snape, I won't believe you without proof."

Snape sneers, "Obviously, Potter! That's why I asked you to bring the Pensieve. What memory do you want to see – me taking the Vow with Narcissa? The conversation I had with Dumbledore when I told him of the Vow?"

Harry says, "I want to see the argument that Hagrid overheard, the argument that you had with Dumbledore in the Forbidden Forest."

He approves of Harry's choice, this is a memory that Snape hasn't offered, and better still, doesn't seem to think Harry would even know of. He's seen enough memories that have been tampered with to know that this memory of the Forbidden Forest is the real deal, and he's shaken by what he sees, Severus Snape, the wizarding world's premier hard bastard, snivelling and begging to Dumbledore, it looks like he's having some kind of nervous breakdown and has got his two masters confused, it's a horrible sight, a disgusting sight. Merlin, can what Snape has told them be true?

But it makes sense that Albus would sacrifice himself for Harry. Albus was disarmed, he was facing four Death Eaters and Draco Malfoy, if Snape was bound by a Vow that would kill him if he broke it, Snape would have died on the ramparts of the Astronomy Tower and Albus would have died anyway … and Harry, Harry would have attacked them, and he would certainly have been killed, too. Snape had got the Death Eaters off the Tower, he had called them away, he'd got them out of Hogwarts, and Snape had not tried to kill Harry, he had not tried to take Harry to Voldemort.

He looks at Harry and he sees that he, too, has been convinced by what they've seen in the Pensieve, Harry is looking slightly nauseous, as if he's just watched someone being sick, and then he makes his mind up, waves his wand and releases Snape from his chains.

Harry is looking really upset, admittedly it is a shock to find that Snape is still loyal to Dumbledore, and Harry says to Snape, "I'm sorry." Wise to apologise, Snape is clearly peeved with the way that he's been treated, though it's only what he would have expected in the circumstances.

Snape is back to his usual nasty self, he sneers, "I'm sorry, too, Potter, that I don't have any new information for you. The Dark Lord will not share his most precious secrets with me while Bellatrix Lestrange lives, and it may be a little while before an opportunity presents itself to dispose of her."

He thinks, I see, Bellatrix is the problem, but Snape can handle it, and then Snape will be Voldemort's most loyal, most faithful servant. You were brilliant, Albus, to have thought this up, it might just give us the edge we need to win, the edge we need for Harry to win against Voldemort, and there's a good chance it's going to work, if Snape can keep his nerve, if Snape can stay alive … it's a very, very dangerous game that he's playing, he's the Auror Corps' number one target now, and if Voldemort runs true to form, he won't risk his precious new body unnecessarily, he'll send Snape up against the Aurors again and again.

Snape has switched his attention from Harry to him, Snape is telling them that he needs help with Draco, Draco is not cut out to be a Death Eater, and Voldemort will kill Draco if he fails again. Snape has a plan to keep Draco out of the way, but he needs assistance. He asks him to explain …

Snape is curling his lip, "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

He knows the answer, the Draught of Living Death, but how is that going to help Draco?

Snape goes on, "I shall bring Draco up to London for a little Muggle-baiting fun, but we shall be so unfortunate as to run into a couple of off-duty Aurors, some old comrades from the Order of the Phoenix, perhaps. Naturally, there will be a battle. I'll stun Draco, then enervate him sufficiently to slip him a dose of the Draught of Living Death. He will be presumed dead – the Killing Curse leaves no visible marks - and taken to St Mungo's. Moody, you have a very special relationship with one of the Healers there, you can make sure that he isn't examined too closely. Narcissa will be allowed to see the body only for a moment, to formally identify it as that of her son, and then he'll be buried at Azkaban. He can stay there until the war is over … better put a note about it in your will, Moody, or Draco might be stuck in a coffin for ever."

He shrugs, the plan is OK with him, if Harry wants to be bothered with Draco, they can sort the details out later, when he's had a chance to talk to Kingsley and Tonks, to talk to them very carefully and discreetly. He notes, however, the snarky reference to making his will, that sounds like a warning, that sounds like a threat, and he thinks, Snape is not going to forget that I hit him as if he was a Muggle, he's not going to forget a humilation like that in a hurry, and I would like to know, too, how Snape found out about that "very special relationship".

Harry is asking, "Why can't Draco just join his dad in prison, why does he have to be buried alive?"

Snape is looking at Harry as if he's an idiot. "What makes you think that Lucius will be staying in prison?"

He nods agreement, it will be all out war now that Dumbledore is dead, and the first thing Voldemort will do is break his Death Eaters out of Azkaban, Scrimgeour is a cretin if he doesn't work that out and strengthen the guard.

Harry is looking worried, he asks Snape, "You're not going to kill any Muggles are you, that won't be necessary?"

Snape says, indifferently, "There are sixty million Muggles in Britain, there's no reason to be squeamish about two or three less."

Harry looks to him for support, but he shakes his head. It's tough on the Muggles, but Snape needs to keep sweet with Voldemort. Harry's going to have to learn, this is war, and you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

Harry is still protesting, he says something about Voldemort, and Snape loses his temper, tells Harry not to use that name, and starts hissing something about the Dark Lord getting Harry unless he smartens up. Then Snape pulls something out of a jacket pocket, and tosses it on the table. He curses, it's one of those Muggle metal wands, the ones they use for killing each other, a what-do-you-call-it, a firelegs, no, a _firearm_. Constant vigilance, Moody, my foot, you're a bloody _idiot_, you never thought that Snape might be carrying a Muggle weapon, did you?

Snape is telling Harry about the Muggle weapon, "You know what this is? The Dark Lord thinks that a wizard without a wand is helpless – Moody made the same mistake today - the Dark Lord has no respect for Muggle technology. From now on, you will carry this Muggle weapon with you _at all times_."

Oh yes, Snape, rub it in … how careless I've been with the safety of the Chosen One …

He watches Snape's long thin fingers gliding expertly over the _firearm_, caressing it, Muggle Dark Arts, trust Snape to know about the Muggle Dark Arts, and Snape is telling Harry about how Muggles use the things, saying we'll go into the garden and cast a Silencing Charm, and I'll teach you how to use it …

Harry says, "Not yet, I need to ask you some more questions."

Snape frowns, and Harry explains, "Dumbledore told me that he trusted you because of something to do with my parents, and I want to know what it was."

Snape looks uncomfortable, but he says, "I'll answer the question, but are you sure you want Moody to hear this?"

Harry looks at him, he hesitates, he accepts Snape's story but he still doesn't want to leave Harry alone with Snape, it's a long ingrained habit of suspicion, but Snape says, "Relax, Moody, you can keep my wand," and he thinks, Harry's got his wand and Snape hasn't, Harry should be OK, and he slowly gets to his feet, and leaves the kitchen, thinking, what is Snape hinting at? Could there have been anything between Severus Snape and Lily Evans? Nah, Sirius would have known, and he would have told me, for sure, and Snape's the dark brooding gothic type, there are plenty of women who go for that, but not Lily, not that darling girl, the only man she ever looked at was James Potter.


End file.
